BEFORE YOU JUDGE, YOU SHOULD THINK!

Before you judge, you should think! This is a topic that I was always wanted to write about. However, I took the initiative to start wondering more about it after a friend’s suggestion. Nowadays, it is a common phenomenon for people to judge not only their fellow mates but also people who are unknown to them. This is something that happens mainly in villages or in small cities-countries where everybody knows each other. People tend to talk and spread rumours about others mostly about their job performance, their personal life, their attitude and more often regarding their external appearance.

In some cases, people gossiping about their colleagues within the same working environment and discuss with their friends about their working performance. In this occasion, we shall consider whether these people are the appropriate ones to examine the performance of others outside the working environment. And when I am talking about ‘discussion about work performance’ I do not imply that this discussion is about an effective performance. In such occasion, people tend to magnify the negative results instead of the positive ones. Let me inform you that if your friends care more about your colleague’s performance instead of yours, then you may consider whether they truly care about you. Also, people who are judging others in that way they should also take into consideration the fact that, even if all this discussion is based upon a false representation, then it may harm the professional career of others. Can you understand the reason? Because, as we have already said, we live in a small place where most people know each other, so before you judge, you should think that there is a possibility that the Manager (or any other person in the same working environment) will hear all these rumours with the result to change his mind about this specific person.

What about the personal life of a person? Does a person have the responsibility to reveal everything about his own life to his friends/family etc.? The answer is NO. Let’s consider the example of a person who decides to have a drink with a friend of the opposite gender, and they are in the public place, why everybody shall consider this as a date? Is it so strange, nowadays, for two friends to go out together, and to be just friends? Mm.. In this society, most of them will answer yes it is strange. But people should start believing in the idea of friendship between women and men and stop gossiping that you saw those two people out together and start imagining what they were talking about. Before you judge, you should think that they need some private time to meet each other and discuss their matters. And at the end of the day, they may need some time to know each other, it is not necessary to let everybody know that they are dating. It is, also, important to examine the possibility that by spreading rumours about the personal life of a person, you may destroy his relationship with others. If he would like you to comment about his life, he would ask you to do so. Even in the case that you know a real secret of others, try to be as discreet as you can.

Moreover, as we all know, our life experiences determine our subsequent attitude. Most of the people, like commenting negatively about the behaviour and attitude of others. They believe that their actions are always correct while the actions of others are wrong and deserve a horrible and negative criticism. Before you judge, you should think what others experienced and what happened in their life before deciding to proceed to the relevant action and before behaving in that specific way. People should avoid judging without knowing the full story. People who judge others should also have in mind that a bad word that will express against somebody may remind them of a bad situation that faced and break their heart. I do not believe each person was born with a specific characteristic such as being shy, strong character, weak, immature etc. In contrast, I think that our way of life and our past experiences develop the personal attitude of each of us.

At last, usually, people make fun of others and fools them regarding their external appearance. I consider this kind of behaviour as unacceptable and disappointing. I cannot accept the fact that, during the 21st century, where there is a tendency to enhance the protection of human rights and fight all the types of racism, there are people who still judge others concerning their height, weight, face or hair colour, and even for their fashion style. People should start considering the different characteristics of others as unique instead of strange. In that occasion, I should suggest taking into consideration that, before you judge, you should think of the following:

• Yes, this man is unique because of his ginger hair colour, and he is not a strange and crazy guy.
• Yes, this woman weight slightly more of the ‘normal’ weight for her height and age, however, she is still cute and pretty.
• Oh, what? Why this girl has this pockmark on her hand? Maybe it is something personal that does not want to talk about, so I prefer not to start questioning her.

Shall I give mitigation for people in villages because most of the times it is just a small village with few residents who know each other? And if I provide this mitigation, what is the excuse for those in big cities?? NO EXCUSE! My advice is to start building and enhancing our self-confidence to improve and love ourselves and stop judging a book by its cover. If you cannot enjoy yourself, you will not have the ability and power to love others.

Itsme_mariaxx